I am certain that visiting this M.D. is not going to be covered by my insurance. I think being use in an experiment to prolong my lifespan would be considered more cosmetic surgery than anything else, which is a shame cause Doctor Butcher does have some convincing evidence that would lead me to believe that one could live a hundred years longer than intended. Plus his bedside manner seems rough at first, but that is just apprehension from patients being used for illegal experiments, you’ll get over it once you go under the knife.
Ladies, you are all going to have to control yourselves as I realize that the leading men in today’s post are pure machismo. I mean you got Jim Brown, former football star and Fireball from The Running Man, Jim Kelly who rocked it in Enter The Dragon and Fred Williamson who was the star of Boss Nigger, which is fucking amazing. These gentlemen of the blaxploitation film era all teamed up for what could be considered The Expendables cast of the mid 70s. Get ready for Three The Hard Way.
Yeah, I concede that trading Arnold for Glover isn’t the most exciting thing in the world, but at least he wasn’t getting too old for this shit. The shit being predator hunting, cause instead of being stuck in the jungle with a bunch of sweaty, burly men, The Predator takes in the sights of Los Angeles this time around. I guess they kept trying to connect the movie to the first with saying now it’s an urban jungle instead of an actual jungle, but whatever. People who were going to see this movie didn’t give a shit about the setting, just that they can see some awesome predator action. This movie certainly delivers that.
I have never wanted to be a hacker more in my life until I watched WarGames for the first time. I spend some time playing computer games, but I have never stumbled onto a military server in which I engage in a game called Global Thermonuclear War with an AI named W.O.R.P. Apparently Matthew Broderick was a gifted hacker in the 80s with Ferris Bueller changing his absences and then that one movie with the monkeys training for space. He was, for the brief time in my life, my idol…that was until I saw Bullitt and I wanted to be Steve McQueen.
My love of The Goonies is probably greater than that of a parent and their newborn child. I don’t think that I could ever like something more than this movie. I wouldn’t say it defined my life, but The Goonies is the movie that got me into cinema. It’s the reason I love watching and writing all things cinema. I can quote this movie with the best of them. I own this movie on multiple formats. I can do the Truffle Shuffle, which is also a sad statement on the state of childhood obesity. Ke Huy Quan will never be referenced by me as Short Round, but as Data. I will be a Goonie for life.
After going over Duel to the Death and that amazing ending battle between the two swordsmen, I decided to go back through my Netflix recommendations and past movies I have watched that were martial arts related and discovered a movie that I watched a few years ago. It was a movie that some might think of as forgettable or a one and done sort of movie. I instantly recalled this Chilean martial arts film from 2006 and was rather wowed by what I saw. Kiltro is a gem amongst the roughage of martial arts movies, coming from a country that we don’t even associate with martial arts or action films, that is of course if you are one of those people that consumer South American cinema. I am certainly not that sort of person, but hell, I will give it a shot if there are more flashy movies like Kiltro for the kung fu, martial arts movie enthusiasts.
I have not had the pleasure of reviewing a kung fu, martial arts movie in some time and today folks I bring you utter fucking gold. Duel to the Death is by far an away, an over the top slash fest of amazing proportions in that there is nothing but utter madness taking place in this movie. Let me give a quick rundown on the highlights of this movie: You got two master swordsmen battling one another to see who is the best, ninjas out the ass, kamikaze ninjas, ninjas that turn into voltron, ninjas who take the shape of one large ninja, ninjas who who fucking rain down an ungodly amount of ninja stars and oh yeah, did I mean one of the best sword battles ever. Ninja Ninja Ninja!
Gah…….this illness sucks. And with all illnesses, there is an underlying issue and cure to be had. The issue, I am still not better. The cure, Denzel Washington movies. While I could watch a myriad of other Washington films that are largely better, I settled on this one cause if we need a change in the medical world, then by god Denzel is the man to do it.
Please tell me I am not the only person in the world who has seen this movie. I am just throwing this movie out there because it was seriously one of the funniest movies I have seen John Turturro do in a long time and is a fantastically wacky attempt to remake the Marx Brothers’ A Night at the Opera. If you haven’t see the latter, well you are missing out. Suffice to say that this movie is so utterly manic that you will be trying to keep up with the rapid fire jokes and wit.
