Fuck Yes! This is the sort of a grimy, pure action film that deserved to be seen by way more people than it got. Dredd 3D, while it didn’t make my end of the year list, it certainly was one of the better action films of the year, right next to The Raid: Redemption. In fact, those two movies are basically the same fucking thing, but one does more shooting and the other is more foot fist action. All I know is, if you are an action fan, this is a must.
Oh how I want to excise the part of my brain that recalls the Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider, buddy cop comedy, action movie Judge Dredd. One of the most horrible pieces of shit I sat through and make fun whenever I can. How one could take a comic book which is all about glorious violence, done in the most insane way possible, could be distilled into the safest R-rated movie ever. I will never know, but thankfully the movie going audience got the remake it so rightly deserved.
I fucking love this movie. One of Stallone’s finer films from the 80s, Cobra is the encapsulation of what 80s action, no filler, all killer films were all about. Who goes to see Stallone act? I sure as shit don’t as I am more interested in what watching him shoot a lot of people, all bad guys mind you. Cobra is just as cheesy as it can get with the one liners, empty dialogue and a whole metric ton of killing. If you are a red blooded American male, get your cockles ready for Cobra action while you down a King Cobra Malt Liquor bottle and feed your pet Cobra some leftovers. COBRA!
I am honestly beginning to think there is a new genre of action films that is purely defined as Statham. His movies are in a world of their own, where he is best driver in the world, one of the most difficult men to kill in his film and is an unmatched fighter. His films follow a particular structure of death and destruction that only pander to the base needs that film goers want when they see a Statham movie. I want him to either a) drive cars in the most actiony way possible, b) shot lots of guns at people, c) make quips and lots of them, and finally d) beat up everyone who gets in his way. The latest film, Safe, for a lack of a better word, is pretty much a safe film that delivers us what we come to expect with Jason Statham films. It’s not rocket science, but damned if the science isn’t fun to watch.
I will watch any movie that has Chow Yun-fat on screen. Shit, I sat through the crappy second Pirates of the Caribbean movie just because he was playing some typecast role of a Chinese naval pirate. Also his ship looked like a dragon, which was bad ass in my opinion. But for me Chow Yun will always be the premier action star. Sure that is a tall opinion that I am putting out there, but if you are an action fan, you will remember that this man, along with John Woo, pretty much defined the bullet ballets of late 80s and early 90s. From acrobatic gun battles and making the act of weilding duel guns a staple of action cinema, Chow Yun is the man and you won’t find any actions films that are better than what we did for Hong Kong cinema. While his roles in Hong Kong cinema are well documented, he did take his first turn in an American film directed by a new, young director Antoine Fuqua, one that is underappreciated in my opinon. That film is The Replacement Killers.
Before everyone starts calling me un-American for posting this liberal documentary against the pervasive gun culture, let me say that I at least pay my taxes, thus allowing me to harp on America if I want. Also Free Speech bitches. Anyways, another Michael Moore selection this time around and probably his best work in my opinion. While Roger and Me was the foot in the door to the surprise interview documentary, Bowling for Columbine is a well reasoned and thought provoking on the subject of gun culture in America.
I can’t help it, another Jean-Claude Van Damme movie and one that is directed by slow motion, flying dove loving director John Woo. Hard Target split kicks its way on this post with the Big Easy mullet and durable, denim shirt that Van Damme sports. It’s another one of those USA Network showings that you can catch between showings of the Westminster Kennel Dug Club Show and WWE, but shit does this movie rock. So much like Face/Off, I assume you know what John Woo is all about, duel pistols, a lot of unnecessary diving and rolls and the gun play. So get ready for the most dangerous movie of all time, Hard Target.
Jean-Claude Van Damme as Chance Boudreaux, a down-and-out Cajun merchant seaman, who, after saving a young woman, Natasha Binder (Yancy Butler), from a gang of thugs on the streets of New Orleans, agrees to help her search for her father (Chuck Pfarrer), a homeless Vietnam vet. They locate local businessman Randall Poe (Elliott Keener), for whom the vet had been working, and learn that her father has become a victim of wealthy sportsman Emil Fouchon (Lance Henriksen), who, along with his cronies, hunts homeless men as a form of recreation. After Fouchon finds out that the girl is investigating the murder of her father, he arranges for she and Chance to be ambushed, but they manage to escape into the backwoods of Louisiana — his stomping grounds. Realizing he needs to regroup, Fouchon assembles a private army to invade the bayous. They track the pair to the rustic cabin of Chance’s Uncle Douvee (Wilford Brimley), and the real fireworks begin. ~ Michael Costello, Rovi
That’s right, Wilford Brimley is in this movie and dealing death blows that Diabetes couldn’t do. He plays the moonshiner, bow and arrow slinging, backwoods cajun that is as deadly as Van Damme’s split kick. Also Lance Henriksen being in this movie doesn’t hurt it at all since he gets to wield a badass gun and shoots the head off of a snake.
While I jest and interject snark into the whole post, this is actually a stellar action movie. The human hunting angle is great as it keeps the action moving and the final showdown in the warehouse is the grand set piece that Woo is known for. Listen, if you are a guy, you have already seen this movie. In fact you can probably just turn on the tv now and watch it, but if you haven’t seen it and a fan of action movies, this is the one you want to watch.
Did I mention Van Damme knocks out a snake with a punch?
Time to get back into the action genre with a man who makes gun fights look like they should be shown on Broadway. John Woo, for lack of a better term, is a fucking genius. The man practically influenced a generation of action directors in the ways of the gun fight and made duel wielding pistols a common thing in movies. Face/Off might not be the best movie out there, it’s a bit laughable in some instances, but god damn is this not one of the best action movies in a long time. I mean gun fight after gun fight and shooting off more bullets than 5 movies combined. Yeah it has John Travolta and Nic Cage in the movie, but frankly seeing anyone pick up guns and start shooting can make anyone bad ass.
I am in a pretty good mood this evening, so instead of picking a movie that requires a lot of insight or thought, I just want to pick a movie when I can shut my brain off, have a drink and watch ridiculous action scenes unfold before my eyes. In order to do that, I got to go with some Japanese cinema in the form of Death Trance. If you watched the trailer, yes it is as ridiculous as it seems. Yes I enjoy the mindlessness of this movie to its fullest extent. Why? Because it is done by the same people who made the awfully wonderful movie Versus. That’s why. Let me explain just a little bit more.
I haven’t given Western movies their due here on Another Plot Device. It’s not that I don’t love them, it’s that there aren’t a lot of people I know who are fans of the genre. I think Westerns get this bad rap about being slow pacing and sometimes dull. Sure the subject matter of man wandering the Southwest and contemplating his life on horseback may not seem like a good time. Hell even some of the more action paced Westerns are kind of lame when you see the gun fights and clutching of the chest when the our intrepid gunslinger takes down an Indian or some guy in a black trench coat.
Now on the other side of the coin, when you mention Westerns and what makes them iconic, whether or not they watch Westerns, is the showdown in the middle of town. The gunfight, the quick-draw, and waiting till the clock strikes noon when both men or women can draw their weapon freely. It’s all about being the fastest gun in the west and being able to smoothly draw your weapon and drop your opponent. I dig that aspect of Westerns, seeing the stare down between two people as they are both close to death and their passing will be by the hands of their opponent. The tension swells, the clock inches closer to noon, and then in an instant, it’s all over. This is where The Quick and The Dead comes into play…
