Oh my god you guys, oh my god. How it took me this long to finally talk about this movie I will never know, but believe me the wait for this post on this particular movie is something to truly treasure. From 1994, a time when shitty martial arts movies are churned out like cheap knock-off goods, we got Cynthia Rothrock, the female action star of her time, in a movie that is so wildly bad and entertaining that you would think this is what Tommy Wiseau had directed an action flick. This is just one of the most insanely, poorly acted movies with fight scenes that are just unbelievable. This is Undefeatable.
It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger in his first movie ever! Yes the multi-award winning Mr. Olympia finally gets to have his day on film with one of the dumbest and amazing, best worst movie ever. Yes, Hercules in New York or as it is also known as, Hercules goes Bananas, has the giant muscled Austrian being typecast as a muscle bound Hercules who is cast out of Mount Olympus and runs amok in New York with some of the cheesiest fight scenes and atrocious dialogue ever. Every actor has to start somewhere and for Arnold, this is where it all began.
If you would have told me about four years ago that Star Trek was going to become one of the biggest franchises again, I would have laughed it off. I mean the franchise itself, in film form, has existed since 1979 with “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”, which was just basically money shots of the Enterprise and some deep insight into the existence of life while battling a giant space cloud. But decades later and many more Star Trek films, either TOS or TNG (The Original Series or The Next Generation), the luster of the Enterprise needed a new, shinier coat for audiences that weren’t just fans of the series. J.J. Abrams undertook a massive attempt with his reboot of the long running franchise in 2009 with “Star Trek”. A lens flare filled visual spectacle that essentially made Star Trek cool to like, at the behest of nerds around the world. It made the series popular once again and was a critical success. So the rollicking, humor, action oriented Star Trek had a lot to live up to with a sequel that was 4 years in the making. “Star Trek Into Darkness” boldly promises to take us into darker territories with its foreboding title and higher stakes, a promise it fully delivers with warp speed.
Oh yes, the latest Star Trek is coming out this evening I will be there, clad in a red shirt cause you need expendables there to protect the captain. So in order to properly convey my excitement for the latest lens flared installment from J.J. Abrams, I guess it is time to pay tribute to the best Star Trek movie ever. It’s time folks….KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Have you ever wanted to see Bruce Lee battle the likes of James Bond, The Man with No Name and Dracula all in one epic movie. Well folks, you are in luck since the death of Bruce Lee spawned a subgenre of exploitation movies called Bruceploitation and the movie studios just couldn’t stop capitalizing off the fame of Bruce Lee. RIP Bruce, your legend will live on as will these horribly amazing movies. It’s time for The Dragon Lives Again.
Have you ever thought to yourself that while you were watching the sublime Coen Brothers film “Blood Simple” that there would be a different take on the film? Maybe wondering what it would look like if say a famous international director decided to pay tribute to the movie with his/her vision of the story line? Well folks your prayers are answered as Zhagng Yimou decided that Blood Simple needed to be remade with some Asian period piece flair and today I will talk about the exciting and wonderful remake, A Woman, A Gun and A Noodle Shop.
It’s Mother’s Day and today is a day in which you should be spending time with your dearest mother and cherishing all the time she given to mold you into the person you are today. I love my mom and all the work and love she has given to raise into the person I am today. Not sure how proud she is my spending my time writing on a movie blog that I don’t get paid for (someday ma, someday), but I know she would do anything for me to be happy. So while she getting gifts, funny cards and having our families adoration showered upon her on this special day, today’s post is about a movie in which the mother will do anything to keep her family happy, even becoming a murderous serial killer in a picture perfect suburbia.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!
Beverly Sutphin (Kathleen Turner) is the perfect suburban housewife and mother. She likes to cook, her home is immaculately clean, she’s always well-groomed and cheerful, and she loves her husband Eugene (Sam Waterston) and her two children, Misty (Ricki Lake) and Chip (Matthew Lillard). There’s just one problem with Beverly — if you do anything to make someone in her family feel bad, you’re dead meat on a stick. While she does a great job of hiding it, Beverly has a vicious and vengeful streak, and when she’s not making obscene prank calls to the neighbors or bribing her garbagemen to save embarrassing items from her neighbors’ trash, she’s mowing down whoever would be so rude as to make her husband go into his office on a Saturday, break up with her daughter, or suggest that her son watches too many horror movies. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi
Oh how delightfully evil it is for Director John Waters to come back to the R-rated territory that we love so much. Don’t get me wrong, his more tamer PG-13 films are ok, but there is something wonderful about seeing him being able to just go for it when the ratings are higher and more mature. Serial Mom is a fantastic film from Waters, lovingly sniping at the traditional family structure of life in suburbia with a methodical and psychotic twist on the horror genre. This is a horror film folks, cause I am pretty sure this has enough killing in it to make it a top contender with other horror films. There is certain, unsettling aspect to the movie that sits with you as watch the picture perfect mother of a household go from cleaving a man skull in two and then baking you cookies. What a good mom.
Kathleen Turner is perfect in this role. The way she is able to keep a smile on her face while running down people her car or stalking a boy who stood up her daughter is almost as eerie as her ability to just play it all off while making suburban house wife jokes. It’s this manic personality and dichotomy between the person she is with her family and then the murderous, domestic Jason-like killer that sells the movie for me. A person with so much love for her family that killing for them is almost second nature, that is a good mom and Turner sells that aspect of the movie in the most absurd way possible.
If you have never see this movie, it’s a treat believe me. It’s kind of campy, kind of horrific, but all sorts of fun to watch. Waters had a nice return to form with his R-rated comedy/horror movie, lampooning the ideal of the suburban setting as being normal as it can get. Kathleen Turner is a monster in this film, but also a sweet and caring mother who does what she does out of love. That is something we can all appreciate.
What if I told you that Europe has its own Conan the Barbarian series? What if I told you this series was mildly successful enough that it warranted three additional sequels to its name? What if I also told you that each of the films in the series were also as ridiculous and cheesy as the original Ator? Well folks, thanks to the Italians and the success of Conan the Barbarian that one faithful month in 1982, the Italians decided they needed to cash in on the who swords and sorcery game with their answer Conan. What we got is nothing short of terrible, but truly amazing z-movie knock-offs.
This is one of my favorite documentaries I have seen this year. As most of you know, I collect Mondo posters, actually just posters in general. They are the art that adorns my walls, the things I covet and the stuff I love to show and acquire. For me there is nothing better than scoring a limited edition print of a favorite movie of mine or the latest creation from some of the best movie and concert poster artists out there. Lo and behold my excitement when this movie came across Netflix instant for my viewing pleasure, a movie that premiered at SXSW and finally have an opportunity to see the evolution of my poster obsession.
If you are expecting to read about the atrocious remake with Sam Worthington, you should be ashamed. I am talking about the “classic” (relative to whom you talk to about this movie) mythical adventure film that gave us one last fan fare send off by dynamation creator (a form of stop-motion animation) Ray Harryhausen. I remember watching this when I was little and being floored by seeing these fanciful creatures coming to life on screen. A winged horse, a mechanical robot, fucking Medusa and the Kraken all coming to life on screen. Sure, looking back on the movie now, the effects are cheesy and look downright comical at times. You have to understand and appreciate the old school techniques that Harryhausen pioneered to give us this creature fest and memorable film. Yeah it doesn’t hold up very well to time, but it’s cemented in history for the effects and story telling (again my opinion).
