Movie of the Day – Die Hard

I said it yesterday so I will say it again, every Christmas, Die Hard will be the movie of the day until the day this blog ceases to exist.  I dare anyone to fully argue with my opinion that Die Hard is one of the best Christmas movies ever.  I dare you!

So, this will be a short post as I want to leave you all with my version of Twas the Night Before Christmas.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Nakatomi
Not a businessman was stirring, not even a manager.
The liquor was placed by the tables with care,
In hopes that party goers soon would be there.

The people were arriving all dressed in their suits,
While visions of drinks and bonuses filled their heads.
And McClane in his outift, and gift in hand,
Had just settled in from a long winter’s flight.

When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
He  sprang from the room to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and took up cover.

The floor of the lobby of the newly finished plaza
Gave the view to the objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Hans Gruber, and 12 armed men.

With a german accent, so lively and thick,
I knew in a moment it must be the Leader.
More rapid than bullets his demands they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called to his men!

“Now Karl! now, Franco! now, Tony, Theo and Alexander!
On, Marco and Kristoff! On, Eddie and Uli! on Heinrich, Fritz and James!
To the top of the tower! to the top of the building!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, McClane standing by.
So up to the tower the terrorists they flew,
With the bag full of explosives, and Hans Gruber too.

And then, in an elevator, McClane heard from the room
The prancing and pawing of each terrorist foot.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Open the elevator to Gruber came with a bound.

He was dressed all in a suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were adorned with guns that shoot.
A bundle of explosives he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a terrorist, just ready to attack.

McClane’s eyes-now wide and surprised! his gun at the ready!
His senses were heightened, his feet as bare as the floor!
He ducked and shot, as the glass hit the floor,
And the soles of his feet were torn and worn.

The butt of a machine gun he held tight,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a worn face and little found safety,
That shook him to fight, to stop the terrorists plight.

McClane was determined to fight, a right jolly of a sight,
And he laughed when he saw Gruber, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave Gruber know that McClane was to be dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his back,
And pulled the gun from the strap, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger inside of the trigger,
And giving a nod, discharging the chamber!

Gruber sprang back to his death, to the outside  gave a whistle,
And away he fell on  down the side of the tower.
McClane exclaimed, with vigor as Gruber fell out of sight,
“Yippie-Kai-Yay Motherfucker, and to all a good-night!”

Die Hard 1a

Movie of the Day – Silent Night, Deadly Night

Boy, I hope everyone were good little boys and girls cause that is a Santa you don’t want to fuck with.  Actually I am just kidding as this Santa is just a really troubled young man who dispatched people in the most festive ways possible this holiday season.  But for today’s post, why the hell not as tomorrows post is going to be Die Hard, AS IT IS EVERY CHRISTMAS!

Silent Night 1b Read more of this post

Movie of the Day – It’s a Wonderful Life

Well folks, I realize my post this evening is a bit later than usual, but I just came back from my side job at the Alamo Drafthouse in downtown Kansas City.  This evening was a special one as tonight we were showing It’s a Wonderful Life on two screens.  I lobbied to have the hosting duties for the evening as it has been a movie I have grown up with, mostly due to my father’s love of the film.  So I got the gig to host both showings and was absolutely floored that we sold out both showings.  As a film fan, it made my heart swell that a movie made in 1946 is still touching generations of movie watchers and getting them out to the theaters to experience this unintentional Christmas classic.

Now I have grown up a lot since my first viewing of the film.  I always thought Pottersville was pretty fucking sweet with booze, burlesque and fights on Wednesday nights.  It seemed like a great town to me at a young age.  Over the years though, I understand what makes this movie timeless and why it ended up becoming this holiday classic despite the directors insistence that it was never intended to be a Christmas movie.  It’s the message at heart, one that James Stewart learns over the course of the movie that your worth in life isn’t measure by material or even monetary possession, it’s the people that are in your life and the lives of those that you have touched.  That is what you need to take stock in and that is what life means.

It’s a movie that was panned upon its release, lapsed into copyright default to the public domain, and then found its home amongst the Christmas special rotation.  A movie that over the years since the 70s, has touched the lives of those that have seen it.  Capra and Stewart created a movie that has lived on through the years and to see all those people out at the two sold out shows tonight was amazing.

So today, I present the movie in its entirety for those that have not seen it.  Enjoy!

Its a wonderful life 1a

Movie of the Day – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Fellow readers, I bring you this Christmas present early this December because I care about you all.  Today, you get to experience the holiday cheer that is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, a Christmas movie in which Santa is kidnapped and brought to Mars in order to deliver presents and Christmas cheer to the citizens of Mars.  Yeah, I know.  The movie is critically panned as being one of the worst movies ever made and rightly so, but it is one of the most subversively terrible movies that you can ever witness.

So today, I bring to you the full movie, in it’s entirety along with the MST3K episode which is phenomenal.  So happy early Holidays and I will bring you yet another Holiday movie tomorrow.

Santa Claus Martians 1a

Movie of the Day – Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Ho Ho Holy hell this is awesome.  I got to hand it to those Scandinavian countries and their wacky sensibilities cause this is just plain awesome.  While I like to keep holiday related films confined to their respective months, I can’t pass up the opportunity to talk about this movie which was recently released on Netflix.  Based on a short film of the same name, Rare Exports is now one of my favorite holiday films.

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Movie of the Day – Die Hard

In my mind, there is no other Christmas movie that can come close to the spirit of Christmas than Die Hard can.  It is the quintessential action and holiday movie that we can be blessed with and the sole reason that Bruce Willis is an action star. It is the birth of the true action movies, not one cluttered with a mere superhuman laying waste to a entire third world countries population in bad guys, but the average, vulnerable Joe who is just a man at the wrong place at wrong time.  It’s a movie in which the Christmas spirit is challenged and taken away by a Grinch like villain, Hans Gruber.  Die Hard is the best Christmas movie period.  To all who have complaints, please don’t read further since the opinions below will only anger you.

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Movie of the Day – Gremlins

For future references, if anyone wants to get me a gift for Christmas or any other holiday that necessitates a gift, don’t buy anything from a Chinese shop unless it’s a pair of swords or knock off Rolex watches.  Who the hell in their right mind would buy an unknown animal from a non-licensed breeder or pet shop?  To be honest though, if I saw this cute little Mogwai sitting in a Chinese shop, I would want to buy it.  I mean did you see how cute the little mogwai was, I mean we are talking penguins in sweaters level of cute.  Anyways, nothing like a dark comedy and little monstrous creatures to liven up the holiday season.

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Movie of the Day – The Proposition

I have wanted to talk about this movie for a while now and while this is a 10-day long Christmas post stretch I am conducting right now, I can wiggle this movie into the rotation of holiday movies.  Death, violence, revenge, despair, isolation, anger, and a myriad of other depressing words are not the typical holiday movie.  Actually those words describe no holiday in any country.  No the only thing that this movie has connecting it to the holiday of Christmas is that Dec. 25th is used as an ultimatum day for one man, either find the killer or watch you brother hang.  Not something of an uplifting story for Christmas, but then again this movie is as brutal as they come.

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Movie of the Day – Tokyo Godfathers

While most of my holiday posts have been about the absurdity of Christmas, either from terrorists or being held hostage, I am not a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas movies.  I do have a soft spot for the holiday and I hope that today’s post proves that.  Christmas is about coming together, basking in the essence of life and joy and all the while being a family, whether with strangers or loved ones.  Tokyo Godfathers is one of more heartwarming tales of family and the unexpected gifts and ties that happen in our lives.  While not truly a Christmas movie, it holds true to the themes of the holiday and offers a compelling story that  has far more weight than the typical, formulaic Christmas movies that are out there.

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Movie of the Day – Christmas Vacation

I am currently spending my Christmas Vacation from work by spending time writing and watching movies.  Also I do go out to eat and enjoy a social life as well, but for the sake of propelling this opening, I am currently awaiting for my trip back home for Christmas.  While our Christmas’ aren’t anywhere near chaotic as the Griswold family Christmas, this movie is a sure enough staple in our viewing rotation that I can practically just spout off one liners and conversation stretches like no other.  Christmas Vacation is more than just a comedy, a very funny one at that, but a story about the elusive idea of the perfect family Christmas.

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